Practicing Honor in Relationships

Most of us learned to love and honor others from a young age—whether in how we were mandated to treat and speak to our siblings or interact with strangers.

As we grow older and maintain friendships or the most important relationships, we sometimes overlook the transforming power of honor in our relationships.

The Bible often emphasizes honor instead of respect when speaking about relationships. Hence, the Bible is intentional. The dictionary defines honor as great esteem or the highest respect. As such, we must deliberately honor others and should reflect it in our daily interactions.

Certain qualities should be a part of us as we prepare for marriage, and one of the most essential is the ability to practice honor effortlessly. Some people either overlook this or misunderstand the biblical concept and think showing honor is conditional based on status, age, or gender. As a result, we sometimes see men fail to show courtesy when addressing women, or women dishonor the men in their lives.

How we show honor and respect to others reflects our hearts. It should not depend on factors like societal status, age, or gender if we want to adhere to God's way. All believers must be intentional about practicing honor. Some lessons are best learned while single, as it's better to enter marriage already prepared to outdo our partner in the things we can control, such as love and honor.

“Be devoted to tenderly loving your fellow believers as members of one family. Try to outdo yourselves in respect and honor of one another.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭10‬ ‭TPT‬‬

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate, not as inferior, but out of respect for the responsibilities entrusted to husbands and their accountability to God, and so partnering with them] so that even if some do not obey the word [of God], they may be won over [to Christ] without discussion by the godly lives of their wives, [Eph 5:22] when they see your modest and respectful behavior [together with your devotion and appreciation—love your husband, encourage him, and enjoy him as a blessing from God].

In the same way, you husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way [with great gentleness and tact, and with an intelligent regard for the marriage relationship], as with someone physically weaker, since she is a woman. Show her honor and respect as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered or ineffective.” ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3‬:‭1‬-‭2‬, ‭7‬ ‭AMP‬‬

The Bible references highlighted do not suggest that honor is specific to status, age, or gender. Honor is for everyone—both male and female, young and old.

For illustration, a husband who helps with breakfast or dinner at home is no less a leader. Jesus was a servant leader. A woman would undoubtedly feel pampered if her husband occasionally surprised her with breakfast in bed. From close observations, men love pampering, too, even though cultural beliefs can sometimes suppress their ability to express it. So, a wife can return such gestures as breakfast in bed and find ways to help her spouse if he is not naturally expressive.

A man should marry the woman who calls out the king in him and a woman the man who honors the queen in her. As believers, we are sons and daughters of the Most High God and deserve the honor that comes with that identity. For women, it will be tough to marry someone who diminishes their God-given dreams due to gender bias or selfishness in the guise of leadership. Husbands can help their wives grow to their fullest potential while recognizing that they are wives at home, no matter their roles in other areas of life. So, both parties, especially women, must pay attention to the cues during friendship. Identifying a unified purpose and shared values cannot be overemphasized.

Our choice of words and communication style are qualities we often develop from our younger years, but we can work on them if they don't convey love and honor in our relationships. The best leaders develop other leaders and view leadership as responsibility, not title.

As more people choose to be intentional about practicing honor, relationships will transform positively.

Recommended Bible Study: 1 Peter Chapter 3 (AMP)