How to Make the Right Marriage Decision

I will approach whether God chooses your spouse for you differently, as I've often heard people argue that God does not choose your spouse for you. I respect their perspective, but they are likely primarily considering the issue from the standpoint of human free will.

I can ask God to choose my spouse because the Bible says: Ask, and the gift is yours. Marriage is a gift of God to partner in kingdom advancement for our benefit.

If the Bible says we should ask for anything in prayer, it would be ours by believing. It means God can choose a life partner who aligns with his purpose for our lives if we ask. The golden rule is to ask and let God know we can't do it alone.

“Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. Would any of you who are fathers give your son a stone when he asks for bread? Or would you give him a snake when he asks for a fish? As bad as you are, you know how to give good things to your children. How much more, then, will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7‬:‭7‬, ‭9‬-‭11‬ ‭GNT‬‬

We must be willing to develop God's patience, character, and wisdom through obedience to His instructions (I know it doesn't come easy, but working with God is always worth the effort).

When God brings two people together, He will confirm it to them in multiple ways. Forcing a relationship does not align with God's nature or character. If you find yourself using force, pretending to be someone you're not, or carefully planning your words and actions to appear flawless, you likely rely on your strength rather than trusting God. Waiting can be challenging, especially when the enemy presents options that seem like God's perfect will. Sometimes, people are led astray by impatience, family and cultural expectations, or peer pressure.

The devil knows that the more people get it right in marriage, the more kingdom-focused people he has to contend with. Therefore, he also plants people into churches, making it difficult for believers to make the right choices.

Marriage is for a greater purpose that is beyond physical intimacy. Physical intimacy is crucial to God. But, beyond that, marriage is about fulfilling a divine mandate. God has proven that He can deliver from any situation; He examines motives and sees what we sometimes cannot see. God brought each of us into this world with a sacred purpose, and the devil will do everything in his power to hinder it.

We truly get to know people during life's challenges or in situations they thought were hopeless. Anyone can choose us when things look good, but what truly matters are those who would stand by us amid rough times. I learned some lessons through painful and harmful situations; I wouldn't want that for anyone.

The peace of God must accompany the decision of a life partner. Therefore, knowing God intimately and His voice is paramount. We must personally know God for who He is, not just what we hear about Him, to walk in His perfect will for our lives.

The way to get it right is by walking with God through patience, courage, and obedience. I recall someone I deeply respected asking me some years ago about the suitors coming my way. I mentioned one who had been particularly persistent at the time. They asked for more details and told me that this person wasn't God's choice for me. That was fine! However, they then attempted to pair me with someone who didn't have a relationship with God. I wasn't surprised because I began to rely entirely on God's guidance, knowing I needed Him as I waited for this life-shaping decision.

God is the only one who leads us to beautiful places for our benefit because He genuinely cares about our well-being.

God will never go against His Word. For instance, God will never ask you to marry an unbeliever or engage in actions to sin against your body to avoid missing out on a potential spouse. He will only bring you what leads to true joy and peace. God is faithful to His promises and has many sons and daughters. He may decide to take one of His children, say, from Asia to Europe, and transform them into a King or Queen in a foreign land to fulfill His plans. Our Heavenly Father is boundless, and His reach knows no limits.

Wisdom is fundamental in your waiting season. One day, I will discuss showing compassion and maintaining boundaries, as I've learned this lesson the hard way. Yes, people can share lunch in a public place or with others around, but unfortunately, as the Bible says, some hearts are evil. Anything unpredictable could happen from that table. Don't ignore the Holy Spirit's promptings just because you want to be kind or cautious, and don't let fear guide your actions (especially since, in some cases, witchcraft can be at play).

We are more susceptible to demonic attacks and satanic strategies when fear controls our decisions because fear moves us outside God's will. Fear is the control room the devil operates from. Ultimately, I would avoid any friendship or relationship lacking God's peace. Trying to be wiser than the Holy Spirit will only lead to hurt. Don't be the person who sacrifices their peace for the sake of kindness—that's probably not the Holy Spirit at work. God calls us to be firm, but often, we don't learn this lesson until we're in uncomfortable situations. Wisdom is key.

The marital destiny ordained by God is beautiful. It will unfold according to God's plan if we trust Him, not family or peer pressure, our desires, or the fear of others' opinions. While culture may remind you that you're not getting any younger, God lovingly says, "My child, I am so proud of the person you are becoming," preparing you to overcome Hell's agenda. What could be more comforting than the approval of God? The Bible teaches that to God, a day is like a thousand years, so no one is truly "old" in His divine plan. When God decides it's time, you'll know it.

I would love to read your testimonies of God-orchestrated marriages. I can't wait to shout for joy!

Recommended Bible Study: Matthew Chapter 7